uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Randomize
