he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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