i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
