3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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