I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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