I wannas sexs uuuuu
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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