I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
