the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
