Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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