That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
