You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
