people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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