I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
