walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
