Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
