Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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