You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
