you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
