I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
