Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
now i know why i became what i already was.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
