Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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