ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
