Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
