I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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