hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
