i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
