i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
