he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
