when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
