so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
