I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
