ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
