who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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