barbara walters just said penis...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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