I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize