when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
