Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
