I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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