It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
