i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
