I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
