Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
