so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
