I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
