thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
