why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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