I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
