Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We had to coat check the pizza.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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