batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
