He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
