you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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