I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
