Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
