PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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