i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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