using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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