wanna go halves on a baby?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
