I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
