bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
