I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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