I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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