Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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